For the Girl Who Lost Everything
by Hot Chocolate 2k2
Summary: After almost losing everything, Alex thinks she understands Kara just a little bit better now. Set during and after 2x15.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: What's up guys? So, this is an idea I had after I watched 2x15 Exodus but I had already been writing These Broken Pieces and kinda shoved it to the back of my mind. But with spring break coming up I thought, what the heck let's do it. This is after Kara and Alex stop Lillian Luthor and prevent the exodus. I just don't think someone could come so close to losing everything and go back to normal in a day. So here's my little add on to the episode. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alex couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't stop herself from replaying that moment in her head. Over and over and over again. The fear, the complete and utter terror that turned her blood cold. Almost physically feeling her hope slip through her fingers as the ship got farther and farther away from earth. From her home.

Alex had complete confidence in Kara, but as much as she hated to admit it, she had lost hope in her sister as they had reached the black oblivion of space. She thought there was only one outcome. She would be blasted across the universe, and Kara would die trying to save her. Her little sister would die because of the mistakes she had made. And the thought of having to live with that was more than even Alex Danvers could bear.

She honestly thought she had planned it all out, had every situation covered. She could get her father back, save the aliens, and stop Lillian Luthor, alone. She just _knew_ she could.

Until she couldn't.

Until Lillian said there was no override code. Until her father came face to face with Cyborg Superman. Until the ship lifted off the landing pad. Until Winn couldn't find the information they needed to stop it. Until she couldn't disable the autopilot set to take them across the galaxy. Until she was about to lose _everything._

Kara had sped to the front of the ship, cape billowing in the wind, the familiar "S" ( _"It's not an S, Alex!" "If that's not an S then what the hell does an S look like!")_ standing out in the center of her chest.

She remembers watching, helpless, as her little sister pushed against the gigantic ship, careful not to tear through the metal and release all the oxygen into the vacuum of space. She had told Kara to go, to leave, but Kara had shaken her head no, she had refused. She had almost been glaring, her eyebrows pulled together, her eyes fiery, and her jaw set. Kara had given her a look that screamed, "I won't leave you."

But Alex could see the fear in Kara's eyes, the fear of not being able to save the person she loved most, the fear of not being _enough_.

So Alex had placed her hand on the window. On the thin, fragile barrier keeping her sister from her, reminding her that Kara was so close, yet so impossibly far away. Kara's face had fallen, her doubt and heartbreak showing for a split second. And during that split second, Alex saw the lost thirteen-year-old girl that had come to her home years ago. The thirteen-year-old girl who lost _everything_.

Kara had met her hand with her own, pressing against the glass as hard as she dared, wanting desperately to be able to touch her older sister but knowing she couldn't, and may never get the chance to again if she failed.

Alex remembered shouting at Kara, saying, "You can do this," because she couldn't let Kara's last memory of her be of a scared, defeated little girl who was so desperate to save her father that she endangered everyone else around her. And maybe there was a small part of her that refused to give up hope, refused to believe this was the end.

Kara had so much strength, had screamed with the sheer force she was using. But when the small countdown clock on the ship had reached ten seconds, when the ship still hadn't stopped, Alex thought it wouldn't be enough.

She stared at Kara, trying to memorize every detail of her before she was launched across the universe. Her brave face, her sad yet determined eyes, her clenched jaw, her shaking muscles. And even if she couldn't save her, Alex couldn't have been more proud.

As ten seconds turned into five, Alex thought of all of the people in her life. All her friends and family. All of the people she loved. And all of the things she would miss.

How she would never get to prove to her mom that she could in fact bake a better chocolate pecan pie than her.

How she would never get to make up for lost time with her dad, take him to her and Kara's favorite restaurants and new movies like she had fantasized she would do for years if she only had the chance.

How she would never get to set up an online dating account for J'onn like he had threatened to do to her when she was single and stayed at work too long.

How she would never get to take Maggie to the roof of her apartment building on a moonlit picnic she had been planning for weeks for their three month anniversary.

How she would never get to apologize to Kara, tell her that she hadn't meant what she said when she told her little sister she wasn't part of the family.

Because in these last five seconds Alex realized what exactly her words meant to Kara, realized why Kara had been keeping her distance for the past few days, realized that she had done something she swore she would never do.

She made Kara think that her sister, who had promised to never abandon her, had left her alone and had lied to her every time she said, "I love you."

And that was one of the biggest regrets Alex knew she would have once she was gone. Kara would never see her again, left thinking that Alex hated her. And one of her scariest impossibilities was suddenly very, very _real_.

And then it wasn't.

And then the ship had stopped moving. And then the timer had stopped at two seconds. And then Kara had stopped pushing. And then everything had just _stopped._

Kara had fallen against the ship in exhaustion, her forehead pressed against the glass. Alex looked at her with clear admiration and pride in her eyes as Kara stared back, relief and love shining in her own.

Everything after that had been a blur. Kara gently taking them back to the ground, the ride back to the DEO. She vaguely remembers being taken back in an ambulance instead of a standard DEO car, J'onn's orders. Remembers Kara sitting next to her, holding her hand as lights were shined into her eyes.

She couldn't focus on anything. She heard voices, but they were muffled, like she was underwater. Everything around her was too loud, but too quiet at the same time. Everything so sharp her eyes hurt, but it was also impossibly blurry.

The only thing she could think about was the last five seconds in the ship. How purely _afraid_ she felt. And those last five seconds played on a loop inside her mind. Over and over and over again.

Later, J'onn and Dr. Hamilton would tell her that she had gone into shock and passed out.

She regained consciousness back at the DEO, in a hospital room. Alex glanced at the clock, it was 3 a.m. She felt something warm enclosed in her hand. Kara was asleep next to her, her hand still in Alex's own, with her head resting on the white bed. Alex smiled fondly at her, and sat up slowly.

The door suddenly opened, letting light into the otherwise dark room. J'onn walked in and closed the door quietly. When he turned around and saw Alex, awake, his eyes lit up, but his mask was quickly slid into place, "Agent Danvers,"

"J'onn," Alex replied, her voice gravelly. He gave her a glass of cold water, which she gladly accepted.

"You disobeyed direct orders, withheld enemy information, and infiltrated a hostile base without authorization. Care to explain your actions?" J'onn asked, his voice serious and angry, but concern was evident in his tone.

Alex bit her lip and looked away from J'onn, trying to contain the flood of emotions building inside of her. J'onn's eyes became sad as he asked, much quieter and softer than the first time, "What happened, Alex?"

Alex looked down and sighed, then stared up at J'onn. "I'm sorry, I just…I wanted my dad back _so bad_. I thought I could convince him to come back with me. And it worked. He really did do everything for family, for the right reasons. But his actions were wrong, and I got him to understand that. He didn't have to protect us anymore. But then the whole thing went to hell. A-and I don't know if I could've handled it if…"

J'onn's face softened. "Alex, talk to me."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm scared, J'onn. I keep reliving those final moments. I was terrified, and I can't help but think…what if Kara couldn't stop the ship? What if I really did lose _everything?_ "

J'onn sat down on Alex's other side and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't think about the what ifs. They will keep you up at night. They are best left in the past. Believe me, I know. You're right here. You're safe. You're with people who love you. And you're not going anywhere without us."

Alex's eyes started to tear up as she listened to the words of the man who had become her second father. She nodded at J'onn, a silent thank you, and they sat in silence for a moment. J'onn glanced at Kara and let out a small chuckle.

"And do you really think Kara would have let you get away from her that easy?"

Alex smiled down at her little sister, and even though J'onn already knew, he could see how much Alex truly loved her.

"No. No, I guess she wouldn't."

A comfortable silence overtook them once more as they looked at Kara. A thought suddenly occurred to Alex, and her eyes got wide as she startled upright. "How long have I been out?" Alex asked, looking over to J'onn.

"Relax, _Agent Danvers_ ," J'onn said her name almost teasingly. "We arrived at the DEO around midnight, it's only been about three hours," he looked back at the sleeping figure clothed in blue and red.

"She's been here ever since we got back. I tried to get her to go home and get some rest, but she refused to leave your side. She tried to stay awake as long as she could, but she fell asleep about twenty minutes ago."

Alex felt guilty at these words and stared at Kara's sleeping face. Her sister, who she had made feel unwanted, had waited for her to wake up even though she had to be exhausted.

J'onn looked at Alex, who was deep in thought as she stared at her sister, and decided she needed some time alone.

"I'll let you get some rest too, and don't even think about sneaking out," he said, eyes shining with amusement. Alex had the decency to look sheepish. J'onn knew her too well.

He gave Alex a meaningful hug and started to leave. He paused at the door, hand on the handle, and after a moment turned his head toward Alex.

"You know, maybe you should talk to her about this. About what you felt in the ship. Because if anyone could understand, it's her."

And then he was gone.

* * *

 **A/N: Um yeah this little add on turned out longer than I thought. In case you couldn't tell, there's gonna be another chapter to this. I know most of my stories are slow, but I want to convey as much detail and thought I think the characters would have as possible. Kara and Alex talk in the next chapter, hope you liked this start!**

 **Can anyone tell what I got the title of this story from? Until next time, see ya!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys it's been a while! Thanks for the great feedback to this story, there's going to be some more chapters after this, I haven't' decided how long I want to make For The Girl Who Lost Everything yet. Tell me what you guys think!**

 **Don't worry though, I haven't forgotten about These Broken Pieces, if you want to know more, check the author's note at the end. Thanks for your guys' awesome responses!**

 **Guest 1 – Thanks man! Means a lot to me.**

 **buffyfan1992 – Cuddling coming right up! And I wasn't really thinking about it, but Sanvers would be a nice add in to this story, I'll try to make it happen! Might be in the next chapter though.**

 **Guest 2 – You're awesome!**

 **kenzcraw – Dude you have no idea how much this review meant to me. It's so great to know that this is something you enjoyed and that you had the same thoughts about it as me. Yeah, I whole heartedly agree that they really should've focused a little more on the sisters' in the last few episodes. They have fights and deep moments and don't really follow up on them. I'll try to do them justice. Honestly, thank you for reading and reviewing.**

 **enigmea – Hope the talk satisfies you! And thanks so much, I'm so happy that I'm portraying Alex the right way to you!**

 **Guest 3 – Hope you like it!**

 **detectiveben – Thanks a lot man!**

 **LOCISVU – I wouldn't be that cruel to separate the sisters…or would I :)**

 **Guest 4 – You're right, great job! Thanks for reading.**

 **Guest 5 – Here's chapter 2 then! Thank you, I'm glad you like it!**

 **Guest 6 – Here's the update! Thank you for reading! Man there's a lot of guests lol.**

 **pjackson98 – I'm so happy that this story satisfies you! Huh, pjackson…anything to do with Percy Jackson perhaps? If not, I'm gonna feel really awkward for saying anything lol.**

 **Tear of Light – Yeah, it's too bad we only have forty minutes every week, but that's how it works. I really appreciate your review, I want to do justice to Alex, she's such a good character, and I'm happy I showed her the right way.**

 **WB2490 – Thanks! Yeah, you're right! Changing one word can change the whole feel of a title.**

 **Okay, here we go. Hope I didn't disappoint! The** _ **italicized**_ **sentences are Alex's thoughts, but the first one is just her remembering J'onn's words. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alex sat in the dark, J'onn's words echoing in her head.

" _Because if anyone could understand, it's her."_

Alex felt like her head would explode with silent questions.

How did Kara do it? How did Kara wake up _every day_ with a smile on her face? How did Kara deal with it? How could she bear it? How could she do _anything_ after losing _everything_?

Because Alex couldn't. Because Alex still felt like she was drowning, struggling just below the surface. And Alex came back. Alex came back to her home. Alex came back and saw _her friends and her family_ again. And she was still on the edge of a mental breakdown.

She had been so close to losing her world, losing the people she loved, forever. She couldn't just bounce back from that. She couldn't just pretend everything was fine this time.

Couldn't pretend _she_ was fine.

Because she wasn't. She was still terrified, even now, sitting in a DEO hospital room, her little sister's hand in her own. She was still so impossibly _scared_ that she would wake up and be galaxies away.

That she would wake up and find out she really did lose _everything._

But she hadn't, and some rational part of her knew that. Some rational part of her knew that it wasn't just a perfect dream, it was _real._ She came back. She got a second chance. She got another day.

And Kara didn't.

Kara didn't have that. Kara didn't have the sweet relief of coming back, of getting a second chance, of getting another day. No, Kara had experienced the other side of the coin.

Kara had woken up one day, her planet dying, her _home_ falling apart. Her parents had forced her into that pod, told her to take care of her cousin, and sent her away. Sent their _thirteen-year-old daughter_ away with responsibilities no one should have to bear.

Alone.

Kara hadn't even had a choice. Alex knew the risks when she went after her father. She hadn't dreamt of the possibility that she would come so close to being _gone_ , but she knew what she was getting herself into. She chose to take her chances.

Kara didn't. Kara had _no idea_ what was going to happen. The day before, Kara was probably laughing with her friends and sharing stories with her family around the dinner table without a care in the world.

And the next day, she had the _weight_ _of the world_ on her shoulders.

The weight of raising a kid while she was still a kid herself.

The weight of knowing she was the last daughter of Krypton.

The weight of having to carry on that legacy, because there was _no one left_.

And Alex just couldn't imagine how that felt.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the shift of Kara's hand. Alex watched as Kara lifted her head slowly, opening her bloodshot blue eyes.

She stared at Alex for a few seconds, blinking, not fully awake yet. When she finally realized that Alex was in front of her, and that she too was awake, her eyes lit up. Kara gave her sister a tired, lopsided smile.

"Hey, you're up," she said, her voice thick with sleep.

"Yeah, so nice of you to join me," Alex replied with a smirk, but meaning every word. She really was grateful that Kara stayed with her.

Kara stretched, eyes closed as she straightened, legs and arms swinging out. But she kept a strong hold of Alex's hand, refusing to let go. Because if she let go, she feared might never get her back.

"What time is it?" Kara asked, head turning as she looked for the clock.

"Kar, the clock is literally right in front of you. I swear sometimes you really do need those glasses," Alex shook her head, sounding exasperated, but her teasing smile said otherwise.

Kara chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, keep talking. We'll see what happens next time you want to know where Maggie is."

"Okay, one, it's for her own safety. I swear trouble seems to find her wherever she goes. And two, that's totally unfair." Alex glared at her little sister, feigning anger, but she couldn't keep a straight face for long as they simultaneously burst into laughter.

"You've fallen hard, _Danvers,_ " Kara teased.

Alex blushed at the use of Maggie's nickname for her and muttered a weak, "shut up," only causing Kara to laugh harder. Alex couldn't help but smile as she thought of Maggie and Kara. _Her_ girls.

 _What would I do without them?_

And suddenly Alex remembered how close she had come to _living_ that question.

Alex's eyes darkened and Kara's face sobered, eyes more alert. "How are you feeling."

She desperately wanted to say, "Great, where's the next bad guy in need of a house call?" She wanted to be able to truthfully tell Kara that she was fine, nothing had changed, nothing was wrong. That she was still the same Alex "Unbreakable" Danvers.

The same strong big sister Kara could look up to.

But she promised herself she wouldn't lie. Not tonight.

"I'm terrified," Alex whispered.

Kara's eyes filled with unshed tears, and she gave an understanding nod, "You can talk to me, Alex."

Alex let out a humorless laugh. "I thought I had it handled, you know? Dad was finally on our side, Lillian's plans were falling apart, I was on cloud nine. I thought the hard part was over. But then I got on that ship, and I was so _helpless._ " Alex clenched her fists. _"_ Nothing I tried was working, and I was out of ideas. But then you showed up and I thought everything would be fine. I knew you wouldn't let me go. But during those last five seconds? I—" Alex sobbed, tears streaming down her face as Kara wrapped her arms around her.

Alex buried her face in Kara's neck as her body shook. Her words were muffled as she breathed out, "I thought I was going to lose it all. I thought I was going to lose Maggie, you, our family."

She moved her head back to look into Kara's eyes, glassy with tears, as she choked out, "Because we're still family."

Kara held her closer, resting her chin on Alex's head. Alex could feel Kara's body shaking as she cried silently, and she fisted her hands in Kara's cape, her sobs the only sound in the room and _hell_ she felt like she was a _teenager_ again on _that_ night.

The night she heard the words, "Your father is dead."

The night she ran upstairs and locked herself in her room.

The night she cried herself to sleep.

The night Kara slept outside her door.

The night she screamed at Kara to go away. Screamed it was all her fault. Screamed she hated her.

The night Kara had whispered from the other side, "I will never leave you."

And part of Alex wondered how her little sister could make that promise when Kara knew more than anyone how easily people left.

"I thought the last memory you'd have of me would be of that—that hateful person and those s-stupid words and I would have _never_ been able to forgive myself if I left you feeling _unloved_ ," Alex couldn't stop imagining what Kara would have been like if she had really been gone.

Eyebrows furrowing as the metal beneath her hands suddenly vanished. Eyes widening as she realized what had happened. Mouth agape, lips trembling, breaths short and shallow as she slipped into a panic attack like she would when they were kids. Tears pouring down her face, hands clenched into fists as she broke down, left alone, again.

Alex knew this image of Kara would haunt her for a long time, even though it was based on a what if. Because she knew sometimes the what ifs are so much worse than the realities, and if you're not careful, the what ifs _become_ the realities.

And Alex had come so close to crossing that line.

"And I understand if your angry or if you hate me or if you want to leave—"

"Hey, Alex, look at me," Kara said, gently grabbing Alex's chin. Alex stared up at Kara, into her blue eyes, and Alex knew she remembered _that_ night too, the words Alex had screamed at her, the way their fight back then repeated itself a few days ago.

And that Kara remembered the promise she had made.

"I will never leave you."

And Alex "Unbreakable" Danvers let herself break in her sister's arms.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't worry, their conversation continues in Chapter 3. Sorry if that's an awkward place to end the chapter, I just really wanted to emphasize how close they are and I thought incorporating some of their past and having a promise would help make this more emotional** **. And I haven't updated in a while, and I really needed to lol. Do you guys want a oneshot of _that_ night by the way? Cause I think it'd be fun to write, but I wanna know what you guys think!**

 **Oh yeah, I bet some of you skipped to this author's note because you want to know about what's next for These Broken Pieces? I've looked at all of your reviews to decide what I'm doing next. Wait, did you think I was going to tell you now? Nope, you'll have to wait and see, but I'll tell you that I'm not planning on leaving it alone for long!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. I feel like absolute crap for saying I'd update more in the summer and then be MIA for all of it. Truth is, I've been very distracted and busy, and I've been losing interest in Supergirl. BUT, I feel wrong leaving my stories incomplete, so I'm going to try to get back into them.**

 **I might start fics about other shows too, but I feel bad for leaving you guys in the dark, so let's give this a shot.**

 **Anna – Thanks!**

 **barattajennifer – Thank you!**

 **Guest 1 – That means a lot, thanks!**

 **buffyfan1992 – I couldn't agree more, the Danvers sisters have an incredible bond.**

 **kenzcraw – I love your reviews they inspire me so much, and I love hearing your opinion. You're right, the show needs to show more of their bonding, and I hope they do that in season 3. Thank you so, so much, and I'm reeeeaally sorry for the long wait.**

 **TheGoldFeather – Thanks :)**

 **LOCISVU – Thanks a lot!**

 **Tear of Light – Thank you, I try lol.**

 **Iza456 – Thank you, here's the next one, after a long wait!**

 **Guest 2 – I am continuing, life's just been crazy lol, thanks!**

 **MackeyMouse17 – I will, it's just really delayed haha!**

 **Alright, the moment of truth, enjoy!**

* * *

Alex didn't know how long she cried for. She didn't think the tears would ever stop. She sobbed into Kara's neck as her sister whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

And that was something Alex loved about Kara. She didn't ask Alex any questions, she didn't pressure her into talking. She just _knew._ She knew Alex needed to let it all out, that she needed to not be strong for once in her life.

Eventually, Alex's breathing evened out, and her heartbreaking sobs had turned into silent tears. She shifted in Kara's arms so she could see her face, and suddenly she remembered all of the questions she had, all of the confusion she felt.

She didn't even know where to begin. She desperately wanted answers, wanted advice, wanted something to hold onto, but she didn't want to put Kara through that. She didn't want to make her relive the darkest part of her life.

But when she met Kara's blue eyes, all Alex saw was love. And Kara must have seen something in Alex's eyes too, because tilted her head in a small nod, _I'll be okay._

"How do you do it?" Alex choked out, tears still streaming down her face as she looked up at Kara.

"How do you wake up every day with a smile on your face and a skip in your step? How do you do it knowing—" Alex's voice cracked as she tried to control her rising emotions, "—knowing what you lost?"

Kara glanced down as she tried to put her feelings into words. She knew Alex would need something to ground her, and she knew Alex would ask her about her own life. She knew it would be hard to go through, to admit out loud, but Alex needed this. And maybe, just maybe, she did too.

"I don't," Kara said, locking eyes with Alex. "I can play a good part, but at the end of the day, it's just acting. And I'm happy, I am. I have plenty of things to be grateful for. I'm unbelievably lucky to have you, Winn, Maggie, Eliza, everyone, in my life. But sometimes everything is too much.

"Sometimes I come home to my empty apartment and I remember how I'm alone, the only one left to carry Krypton's legacy. Sometimes I can't watch the fireworks on the Fourth of July because they remind me too much of the explosion. Sometimes I can't ride roller coasters because they feel just like my pod getting knocked off course."

Kara had her own tears running down her face now, and Alex thought her heart had shattered. Her little sister had reminders everywhere, every day, of what she had lost. Of what she had been through.

Alex remembered her first Fourth of July with Kara. Kara had already experienced thunderstorms, although her first experience was far from ideal. But five storms and two windows later, Alex thought Kara was more than prepared for fireworks.

Her parents were going out of town on a business trip and wouldn't be with Alex and Kara to celebrate. They forbade Alex from taking Kara to see the fireworks because she "wasn't ready yet", but Alex thought her parents were being ridiculous. Thunderstorms sounded like fireworks, what was the big deal?

So, Alex told Kara that night that she was going to show her another tradition on earth.

* * *

" _Mom and Dad told you about the Fourth of July, right?" Alex asked as she looked through her closet._

" _Yes," Kara replied from her bed where she laid, drawing. "It's a holiday in America that celebrates their independence from the British."_

 _Kara paused, set her pencil down, and snapped her head up to look at Alex, her crinkle in place. "Why is America allies with Britain now if they tried so hard to get away from them in the first place?"_

 _Alex let out a soft chuckle, "Because people are weird, you'll learn all about it in school. Anyway, did they tell you how we Americans celebrate the Fourth of July?"_

" _They said most people usually have food and watch movies," Kara answered, resuming her drawing as she bit her lip in concentration._

" _Well, we aren't most people, are we?" Alex asked, her mouth pulled into a mischievous smirk._

 _Kara ceased her drawing for the last time and met Alex's brown eyes with her own._

" _No, we aren't, are we?" Kara said, her own smile beginning to grow._

" _C'mon kid, I think it's time I show you what Independence Day is all about," Alex said, dangling a set of car keys from her fingers._

 _The night took a turn for the worse at the same time as the car. Alex didn't have her driver's license yet, or even her temps, but she had gone driving in a parking lot with her dad and had read the rules of the road and a handful of driving handbooks._

 _Apparently, Alex wasn't as prepared as she thought._

" _Alex…"_

" _What, Kara?"_

" _This isn't the tradition you were talking about, is it?"_

 _Alex looked at Kara incredulously. They were currently sitting in the car, which Alex had just turned and crashed into a ditch, not before she hit a lamp post and spun out of control. Luckily, neither of them were injured, albeit a small cut on Alex's forehead, but the same couldn't be said about the car._

" _No, Kara. This is_ not _what I had in mind for tonight," Alex admitted, frustration lacing her tone._

" _So, what do we do now?"_

" _We'll have to walk there," Alex stated as she watched the drops of rain cascade down her window._

 _Kara's eyebrows furrowed as she cocked her head to the side, "But what about the car?"_

 _Alex looked past the cracked windshield to the hood of the car. It was busted, just like she would be if her parents found out about tonight. And judging by the way the car was dipping to one side, she had at least one flat tire, maybe two._

" _We'll come back for it," Alex sighed as she ran her hand over her face, "Hopefully no one will be watching and you can use your super strength to pull it out."_

 _Kara nodded silently, sensing that Alex was in a bad mood. And she had every reason to be. Not only was she going to have to walk miles in the rain on an abnormally cold July night, she was going to be in so much trouble with her parents when they got home. There was no way she could cover up the damage done to the car, no matter how good she was at lying._

 _Alex and Kara got out of the car and began their long walk to the National City Park. Initially, Alex was proud, after all she had drove them all the way from Midvale to National City before wrecking, but now all she could think about was the long walk home._

 _After half an hour of walking, they finally reached the park. It was crowded, filled with the residents of National City, all trying to get a good view of the fireworks._

" _Alex," Kara whined, "I can't see over these tall people."_

 _Alex chuckled as she watched Kara stand on her tip toes, knowing that she desperately wanted to fly above everybody to get a better view. "Come on, I know the perfect place."_

 _They walked to a nearby building, a Chinese restaurant that Alex and her parents went to on special occasions. They circled around to the back of the building where a couple crates and loading trucks stood._

 _Alex hopped up onto the crate nearest the back wall of the building and grabbed onto one of the pipes running up the wall._

" _You coming?" She asked Kara, a definite glint of trouble in her eyes._

" _Are you sure we're allowed to do this?" Kara asked, already climbing onto the crate next to Alex. Her words sounded doubtful but her mischievous smile said something else entirely._

" _Nope," Alex popped the 'p' as she began to scale the pipe, climbing towards the roof, "but we're already in over our heads."_

 _Kara giggled as she followed behind Alex as they climbed the four-story Chinese architecturally-styled building. Kara had asked if she could fly, but Alex knew someone would see her, and told her that it would be more satisfying if she reached the top by climbing._

 _Alex clambered onto the top roof and dusted herself off, offering a hand to Kara and pulling her up. She led her sister to the other side of the roof, the front side where they could see the park._

" _Wow…" Kara breathed out. The view was amazing. She looked down at all of the people walking below them on the streets, talking loudly and having a good time. She looked up at all of the stars in the night sky. She looked around her at all of the tall city buildings, the ones that looked nothing like the small town houses of Midvale._

 _She could hear the honking of car horns in the distance, and she was proud that they didn't scare her. She could smell the Chinese food from the inside of the restaurant under them. She could feel the strong wind blowing her hair and the rain falling on her face._

 _Alex was right. It was perfect._

" _Alex…this is amazing," Kara said, turning to Alex with a wide smile on her face._

 _Alex grinned back. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the car, or the walk home, or the fact that she was soaking wet. None of it._

 _Because it was all worth it to see Kara's eyes light up the way they were._

" _It's pretty cool, huh?" Alex said, checking the time on her watch. "And it's about to get even cooler. The best part should be starting any minute now."_

 _Alex sat down, her legs dangling off the edge of the roof. Kara eagerly followed her lead and swung her legs back and forth._

 _A single bright red streak shot into the sky, illuminating their faces._

" _Kara, look, it's starting!" Alex exclaimed, pointing towards the red line._

 _It was deathly silent as everyone below watched in awe, like the countdown before the New Year ball dropped._

 _Suddenly, the red streak burst into an explosion of light, bathing everybody's faces in red light. The park erupted into loud cheers and wild celebration._

 _Alex smiled and threw her fist into the air, giving her own yell of excitement, before turning to Kara._

" _Was that awesome or wh—" Alex's eyes widened as she saw Kara, laying curled up in a ball on her side with her eyes tightly shut, her hands clamped over her ears as she rocked back and forth._

" _K-Kara?" Alex asked hesitantly, crawling over to her. Kara was muttering something incomprehensible to herself, repeating it over and over again._

 _Another firework went off, and she ceased her murmuring to suck in a shaky breath before continuing her mantra again._

" _Kara? Kara, talk to me. What's wrong?" Alex rushed, her voice panicked as her hands hovered over her sister._

 _Kara didn't respond, only clenching her jaw as more and more fireworks went off._

" _Kara, please! What do I do, what's wrong?" Alex tried again, her voice rising with her anxiety._

" _T-too loud, t-too b-bright," Kara said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Make it stop, please."_

" _I-I can't," Alex breathed out. They couldn't get off the roof, Kara couldn't even open her eyes. Alex had left her phone in the car so it wouldn't get wet. They had no way to ask anyone for help without getting arrested for trespassing._

 _Alex tried to think of something,_ anything, _she could do to make this better. But she could only hear the deafening sound of her own guilt-ridden thoughts._

 _It's my fault. I should've listened to mom and dad. It's my fault. I'm so sorry Kara. It's my fault, my fault,_ my fault.

 _Alex spent that sleepless night with her arms wrapped around a sobbing Kara as the fireworks lit up the night sky._

* * *

"Kara…" Alex whispered, "I had no idea."

"Yeah, well," Kara sniffed and gave Alex a watery smile, "it's not your fault. It's just something I have to live with."

Alex shook her head, "Maybe, but it's not something you have to live with alone."

Kara looked at Alex sadly, and Alex saw a sort of wisdom behind her eyes. The kind of wisdom a doctor has after losing a life. The kind of wisdom a cop has after witnessing a murder. The kind of wisdom a soldier has after returning home from war.

The kind of wisdom that broke you to have, but you needed to know.

"You wanted advice, right?" Kara asked. "You wanted to know, how I can lose everything and still have hope?"

Alex nodded solemnly. She did. She needed to know how it was possible. Because she knew, if she ever lost it all, she wouldn't be able to handle it. Not without her sister. Not without Kara.

"I handle it, by talking to you. By being stupid with Winn. By playing cards with Maggie. By laughing with James. By sharing with Mon-El. By eating lunch with Lena. By calling Eliza. I know…I know, that deep inside, I'm broken. I've lost a part of me that I'll never get back. And," Kara let out a humorless laugh, "that really sucks. But I have to stop fighting reality.

"I'm never going to see my parents, my friends, my planet, ever again. It's not going to happen, and I need to accept that. That doesn't mean I can't want to see them, though. I'm never going to not want to see them again. And that's not a bad thing, I know that. I just have to remember that even though I want to, I can't. And I have to accept that, or I'll never be able to really live.

"I know I'm never going to be able to talk to them, the real them. That part of my life ended the second I stepped into that pod. But that doesn't mean I don't have them with me. What they taught me, what they've done, the good and the bad, it lives on through me.

"I'm going to make wrong decisions, just like they did. I'm going to make right decisions, just like they did. I still have their memory, and they'll never die as long as I live. As long as I pass on that memory to the people in my life now. To you." Kara finished, a small smile on her lips. A sad smile, but a smile.

Alex was speechless. Her little sister just poured her heart out to her, and she didn't know what to say. Kara has been giving Alex her most prized possession for years, her memories. She's been entrusting her with them ever since their childhood.

Alex couldn't trust her voice, so she did the only thing she could do, the only thing she knew to do since they were teenagers. She pulled Kara in for a hug.

She could feel Kara's tears on her neck, and her own on her face. Kara clung onto Alex a little tighter, and Alex gave her a squeeze.

"You're okay. Kara, you're so unbelievably strong. You've been through more than anyone ever should, but I'm so proud of you. I love you so much," Alex said, running her hand through Kara's hair.

Kara pulled back slightly and looked up at Alex.

"I thought I was going to lose you tonight," Kara whispered, her voice breaking. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Alex looked down at Kara, her brave little sister. She didn't know what she would've done if that prison ship had left earth, she didn't even want to imagine. But she knew, somehow she would've found her way back to Kara.

The difference between Kara's story and hers, is that she would've had a chance, earth would've still been out there, somewhere. And she wouldn't have rest until she found it, no matter what.

Because if Kara had taught her anything, it was that family was _always_ worth it.

"You didn't," Alex said softly, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Kara smiled at Alex and rested her head back on her shoulder, when her stomach rumbled. Alex's eyes crinkled as she laughed, "Are you hungry?"

Kara blushed and looked down, her previous smile replaced with an shy grin, "Yeah, but in my defense I—"

She was cut off by Alex's own stomach growling. Alex turned beet red as Kara snapped her head up to lock eyes with her. They were absolutely silent for a second, before they burst into laughter.

"Potstickers?" Kara asked as she began to stand up.

"And pizza," Alex added with a wink.

"Alright, I'll call J'onn, tell him it's an emergency," Kara said while Alex pulled her hospital table closer to her bed.

Alex laughed as she tore her gaze away from the table and towards Kara, when she saw her mischievous grin. Suddenly, Alex was fifteen again, looking down at her excited thirteen-year-old sister as they climbed onto the roof of a Chinese restaurant, ready to have the time of their lives.

And somehow, Alex knew that they'd be alright.

"Tell him to get ice cream too!" Alex called out as Kara reached the door.

"Like I would ever forget," Kara scoffed playfully. Alex watched as she opened the door and walked into the hallway to call J'onn. Alex sighed happily at her sister's antics and shook her head.

Suddenly, Kara's head popped back into the doorway.

"By the way, I'm glad that you're alright. Because losing you," Kara let out a small sigh and nodded her head slightly, "would be worse than losing Krypton."

Then she popped her head back out into the hallway.

And as Alex lay there, listening to Kara on the phone with J'onn, she was thankful for those last five seconds.

Because they made her realize that she would do anything for the girl who lost everything.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow I made this chapter way longer than I meant to. I can maybe add an epilogue, but I'm not sure if I will because I'm pretty content with this ending, but tell me what you think! I hope you enjoyed. Until next time, see ya!**


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